Homesick
by Sweetest-Sammy
Summary: He wanted to go to college. He wanted to go to law school. He wanted to find a nice girl, settle down and raise a big family. Any normal parent would have been delighted but not his father. In his family it just made him a freak.


_Ok, so this fic has been driving me insane since camp last year, which was almost six months ago! I started writing it at school today and so far it has come out a little differently to how I intended it to but we'll see how it goes._

Sam stared out the window at the bus terminal. It was finally starting to sink in that if this didn't work out he had nowhere to go back to. He knew that if he told Dean his older brother would talk him out of it. So, to prove to someone, probably himself, that this was really going to happen he had told his father first. The argument that had followed had been worse than expected. He could have handled yelling, there had been enough of it over the past few years. He could have taken ranting, he wouldn't really have minded one of the furious silences that sometimes followed their fights. What he wasn't prepared for was the rage and bitterness in his father's voice as he shut his youngest son out of his life. He hadn't wanted the darkness that descended as he told is father that he had been accepted into so many colleges. He couldn't bear the expression of his fathers face as he explained dreams that would have made any other parents beam with pride. He wanted to go to college. Then her wanted to go to law school, falling just short of the ideal medical career. He'd seen far too much blood over the years. He wanted to find a nice firl and settle down. He wanted to raise lots of children in a big house in a nice neighbourhood. Most parents would have killed to have children who held onto dreams like that alll through the "troubled teenager" phase. But no, not in his family. In his family he was a freak.

The bus started forward, jerking Sam out of his rage spiral. Once again he focussed on the rain-swept world outside the window. The countryside was unfamiliar. Actually all countryside was unfamiliar. Stupid life style with its ridiculous moves and inconstant living. What a way to raise kids. With an effort Sam hauled himself back out of his anger. So, he supposed, unfamiliar countryside was familiar to him. Making it familiarly unfamiliar. He smiled, resting his head against the rain-splattered window. That sounded like something Dean would say.

Unexpectedly the smile slipped and tears filled his eyes. Dean. So here was the thought he'd been trying to avoid all along. Dean. He missed his big brother. Not his father, who was never their. Not the family house or routine, neither of which existed. But his brother. His big brother. He wondered what Dean was doing now. He didn't know what he could be doing. Every activity he'd ever seen Dean engaged in had somehow related back to Sam. Cooking dinner, for himself and Sam. Cleaning knives and guns to keep Sam safe. Watching TV, but always alert to his brother's movements. Dean had wound his life around Sam. A lump rose in his throat as Sam realised the reverse was true. No matter where he was or what he was doing Sam was always aware of Dean. He knew his brother's timetable better than he knew his own. He knew how to tell if his brother was asleep or merely pretending, whether Dean was hiding something. His best friend, his brother and he'd left without even saying goodbye.

Sam could feel a hole in the bottom of his stomach. He really, really wanted Dean to be there. Wanted his brother to laugh at the tears in his eyes while passing in a tissue. For a moment he considered jumping up and trying to get them to stop the bus. Light's flashed by as the bus turned onto the interstate and picked up speed. This was where he and Dean belonged. Following, mile after mile behind their father's truck in Dean's beloved Impala.

Slowly, Sam's panic subsided and his tears dried with it. Lulled by the motion of the bus he fell into a restless sleep.

Getting off the bus into the night air Sam lifted out his phone to check the time. Surprised to see he had a message he dialled voicemail and held the phone to his ear, arm awkwardly twisted by the weight of his bag.

"Sammy." Dean's voice whispered over miles and minutes. "Hey buddy. I dunno where you're up to but I just wanted you to know…I'm really proud of you. So, when you get where your going just…call me, ok? Just cause you're a big college boy now doesn't mean you're not my baby brother." Here Dean's voice broke a bit and there was a pause before he resumed speaking. "Well, I guess I'll speak to you soon. Love ya Sam." There was a momentary pause then a click. An automated voice began asking him what he wanted to do with the message. He automatically saved it and wiped the tears from his cheeks. Ahead Stanford beckoned but in his hand he held a last line to his old life. Gripping it tightly he moved forward into the early morning.

_Well there we go. I was right, it didn't turn out like I expected it to. Oh well, I think I like it. Tell me what you thought and I might consider doing a chapter on whether or not Sam called Dean when he got to college. Let me know if you want to here it. I also apologise for any terrible faux pa's, I'm not American and thus I'm not familiar with the American system. I also disclaim Sam and Dean, with great sorrow. Review people's._

_Sammy_


End file.
